


Strange Bedfellows

by ZombieHam



Category: Oxventure (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Oh no there's only one bed, but brings the possibility of FUTURE shippy stuff, not really shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28610238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieHam/pseuds/ZombieHam
Summary: Merilwen's bed is destroyed and Prudence kindly offers to share hers for the night. Strange noises lead to a misunderstanding with the other Oxventurers.
Relationships: Merilwen/Prudence
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	Strange Bedfellows

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of unironically love the "oh no, there's only one bed!!!" trope, and I wanted to write it with some of the Oxventurers. I might even write more with other combinations later. If there are specific ones you want to see, let me know and I'll if inspiration hits me!

The Oxventurer’s Guild hadn’t been on the _Joyful Damnation_ for long before collectively deciding that some changes needed to be made. The previous crew hadn’t exactly kept things clean, and the sleeping quarters were no exception. The hammocks were so torn that anyone sleeping on them would likely fall through them, and the few actual mattresses and blankets were mouldy and covered in horrible stains and smells. Even the larger fancier bed in the captain’s quarters was in an awful state. It was far beyond the power of Dob’s _prestidigitation_ spell to save them, so the guild simply threw it all out and went to buy new beds for everyone. Corazon even paid a team of carpenters to add some walls and doors to convert a section of the large open sleeping quarters into separate cabins for the others. They had found a sizeable treasure hoard in the captain’s cabin, so price was no obstacle.

Before long, everyone had their own rooms aboard the ship, which they took to decorating to suit their own interests. Everything seemed perfect as the guild sailed away from land and set out into the open ocean with no particular destination in mind. It took three days before things went wrong.

It turned out that, despite the ridiculous price they paid for the new beds, the merchant had been passing off cheap mattresses as high-quality products. Merilwen’s new mattress was full of lice eggs, and when they hatched it took a concentrated burst of Egbert’s flame breath to be certain the problem didn’t spread any further.

The next day passed as normal, and when night fell and Merilwen felt the fatigue in her bones she shuffled back to her room, pausing in the doorway as she saw the charred remains of her bed that she’d managed to push out of her mind all day. While she didn’t need _sleep_ as such, she still needed a few hours of restful meditation each night, and for that she at least needed somewhere comfortable to sit or lie.

She sighed and rubbed her face with both hands. “What am I gonna do?” she mumbled to herself.

Merilwen was so distracted she didn’t hear the footsteps, and she jumped when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Aahhh!! Oh, Prudence,” she let out a relieved sigh. “Sorry, didn’t hear you.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you there, but I _am_ going to add it to my tally,” Prudence said, then looked past Merilwen at the destroyed bed. “Oh right, that’s a problem isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

Prudence walked to her own room without a word, but paused at the door and turned back to look at the elf with a frown. “You coming or what?”

“What d’you mean?”

“Us girls have to stick together. I’ve got a third of my mattress with your name on it, _maybe_ a whole half if you’re lucky,” Prudence said, crossing her arms. “But this is just a temporary kindness, you got it?”

Merilwen’s eyes widened. “Oh! Um, yes, of course. Thanks Pru.”

“Don’t mention it. Literally, don’t tell the others I was nice.”

-

It was one of the least-restful nights Merilwen had ever had. She awoke feeling groggy and sore, and as soon as she began shifting around she felt Prudence moving next to her.

“Morning,” Merilwen said.

Prudence grumbled and pulled the blankets up over her head.

Merilwen nodded. “Yeah it’s a bit like that.”

After a minute, Prudence’s face emerged from under the blankets. She blinked as she tried unsuccessfully to focus on Merilwen’s face. “You look awful. D’you sleep as bad as me?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t great,” Merilwen said. “Did...did you know you bite in your sleep?”

“Hah!” Prudence gave a sleepy smile. “Yeah I do, sorry. Was that a problem?”

Merilwen’s mouth upturned into the smile she couldn’t help making just before making a joke. “I just assumed you’d want someone to buy you dinner or something before you take them to the bedroom and bite them.”

“Nah, I’m the opposite,” Prudence smiled back. “Someone must take me out on three dates, minimum, before I _stop_ biting them in bed.”

“Noted.”

“Anyway you’re one to talk,” Prudence said. “You spent half the night in cat-form, clawing me to bits.”

“I didn’t…”

“You did!” Prudence sat up and lifted her shirt slightly, just enough to reveal dozens of scratches on her stomach and back.

Merilwen gasped. “I’m so sorry! I must’ve had nightmares or something, I don’t even remember turning into a cat.”

Prudence waved a hand in dismissal. “Eh, don’t worry about it. Looks like we both roughed each other up a bit, so I guess we’re even.”

“If you say.” Merilwen gave a long yawn and stretched. “I think I might get up and get something to eat. You coming?”

“In a bit. Gonna try sleeping a bit longer,” Prudence said as she settled down on her back again and closed her eyes.

Merilwen nodded, then stood up and left the room. She spent some time washing her face and getting dressed before moving above deck.

-

The moment Merilwen set foot in the mess deck for breakfast, she knew something was wrong. The muffled conversation she’d heard on the way ceased immediately, and the three other Oxventurers sitting at the table seemed very interested in their meals.

Her whole body ached as she plonked down into an empty chair opposite the others, and she tried to blink the haze from her vision as she looked at them.

Corazon had set down the forkful of scrambled egg before it reached his mouth, and simply stared at his food with a look of worry.

Egbert, who normally devoured all meals with glee in only a few bites, slowly nibbled on a piece of bacon as if he intended to make it last all day.

Dob pushed some apple and orange slices around on his plate until they vaguely formed the shape of a face that looked neither happy nor sad.

“What’s going on?” Merilwen asked as she grabbed a plate from the middle of the table and added some fruit and a few pieces of bacon.

The effect was immediate: The looks on the faces of Corazon, Egbert, and Dob changed to fear.

“It’s just…” Corazon trailed off. He thought for a moment, then frowned and shook his head. “Nevermind, no, we’re not doing this now.”

“You’re freaking me out guys, is everything okay?”

“Fine, no problems at all,” Dob said in a much higher pitch than usual. He cleared his throat and his voice returned to normal. “Did you, uhh, get enough sleep? Or meditation?”

Merilwen shrugged, trying to ignore the strange behaviour. “Not really, I’m still kind of exhausted.”

Egbert let out a quiet snicker. “Yeah I bet,” he mumbled into his coffee cup.

Merilwen frowned. “Huh?”

Egbert’s eyes widened as he realised he had spoken louder than he thought. “Um. Well, it’s…”

“It’s what? I’m so lost.”

“I mean, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Right guys?” Egbert looked around at the others.

“Right,” Dob nodded. “It’s perfectly natural.”

"It's not though, not when you consider who's involved," Egbert said.

“Maybe it would be best if we waited for Prudence before we continue this conversation though,” Corazon said.

“ _What_ conversation? What are you lot on about?” Merilwen shouted.

“Come on Merilwen, do I have to spell it out?” Corazon yelled back. “We know what you’ve been up to.”

“What’s that s’posed to mean?”

Corazon opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of footsteps approaching silenced him. He swore under his breath and turned his attention back to his food. Prudence stomped into the room and practically fell into the chair next to Merilwen, still half-asleep.

“Food,” Prudence slurred. Her eyes were barely open, and she blindly slammed a hand down onto one of the plates in the middle of the table, making the boys flinch at the sound. She grabbed an enormous handful of crispy bacon and shoved as much as she could into her mouth. After chewing for a while, she picked up the pot of coffee and a cup, hesitated for a moment, then put the cup back down and poured some coffee directly from the pot into her mouth.

“Morning Prudence, how’re you feeling?” Corazon asked. “Still a bit sleepy, I expect.”

“I feel rotten,” Prudence nodded, eyes still mostly shut. “And I know I usually like rotten things, but not this time.”

“Yeah, you’re probably quite sore,” Egbert said.

Dob gasped. “Egbert!”

“What? Do you wanna keep dancing around this?” Egbert leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I just think we should handle it delicately,” Dob replied.

“Alright then, be my guest,” Egbert gestured vaguely towards Merilwen and Prudence.

“Thankyou.”

After a few moments of silence, Corazon sighed. “Whenever you’re ready, Dob!”

“I’m making sure I choose my words carefully.” Dob lowered his voice, “And also I’m still working up the courage.”

“Just be direct, like ripping off a bandage,” Egbert said.

“I don’t think that’s how bandages work,” Corazon replied.

Prudence opened her eyes fully and watched the argument unfolding, then leaned towards Merilwen.

“What are those losers babbling about?” she asked.

Merilwen leaned a bit closer. “No idea. They’ve been acting really weird since I got here.”

The argument had grown heated as the boys shouted at each other about why their ideas were the best and the others were stupid. Egbert was gesturing wildly with his coffee cup, right until a beam of eldritch energy shot it out of his hand. The argument ceased as the boys simultaneously looked at the shattered cup on the floor, then slowly turned to look at Prudence. The warlock looked quite smug as she brought her hand (fingers and thumb positioned like a finger-gun) up to her mouth and blew the imaginary smoke from it for effect.

“Thankyou for giving me your undivided attention,” Prudence said. “Now, explain yourselves. Just what the _heck_ is going on?”

“Egbert, tell her,” Corazon said.

“Me? _You_ tell her, this was your idea!”

“I’m delegating. Dob, tell her.”

“Prudence, Merilwen...” Dob started. “Uhh...we understand that sometimes, _sometimes_ , when two people…spend time together they, they, they...get close and... ”

Merilwen and Prudence stared at Dob blankly, trying and failing to follow his rambling train of thought.

Corazon rubbed his face in frustration. “Oh my god. Forget it Dob, I’ll do it.” He turned to Merilwen and Prudence. “We heard you having sex last night. Just keep it down next time, yeah?” He turned back to Dob and Egbert. “You see? That was easy.”

Merilwen and Prudence both stared at Corazon with their mouths hanging open. After a moment, Merilwen shook her head and gave a look of confusion. “Did you just say what I think you said?”

“What did you think I said?” Corazon asked.

“That Pru and I...that we…”

“Slept together, yeah,” Corazon nodded. “Look it’s fine, I’m not judging. Just quiet down.”

“But we didn’t-” Merilwen started.

Dob held up a hand to stop her. “Say no more, don’t worry about it. What happens between two consenting adults is none of our business.”

“Except it literally _is_ our business, because we could hear everything,” Egbert said.

“I don’t understand what’s going on. Is this a weird joke? Because it’s not funny,” Merilwen said.

“Is it a- no it’s not a joke!” Corazon said, nearly yelling in frustration. “Sound carries a long way on this ship, and we all heard your weird squeaks and groans and whatever else you were doing. At one point you actually said, and I quote: ‘ouch, not so rough’. I don’t want to hear about the weird stuff you’re into, just keep it in the bedroom.”

Merilwen and Prudence thought back to the previous sleepless night. All the tossing and turning, the accidental injuries and the occasional gasps and moans from the unexpected pain. It was all perfectly platonic, but they understood how the boys had drawn the conclusion they did from the sounds they heard.

Merilwen gave a nervous laugh. “Oh! This is a misunderstanding. You see-”

“We fucked, it was great” Prudence cut in. “Stay jealous, idiots.”

Merilwen’s eyes widened as she turned to look at Prudence, who was smirking at the others. Without even looking, Prudence pointed a hand at Merilwen under the table and sent her a magical _message_ : “Play along.”

Merilwen was so confused, but ultimately trusted Prudence. She swallowed nervously and turned back to Corazon. “Sorry, we’ll, umm...we’ll keep it down?”

“I make no such promise,” Prudence said.

Corazon slammed a hand on the table. “Ah- _hah!_ I knew I could get them both to admit it. Pay up, Egbert.”

“What?” Egbert frowned. “We didn’t have a bet going.”

“I know. Damnit. I was hoping if I said ‘pay up, Egbert’ with enough confidence you’d just do it.” Corazon turned to Dob. “Hey Dob, pay up.”

“You got it!” Dob reached into his pocket, then dumped a large gold bar on the table with a _thump_.

“What!?!” Corazon picked up the gold. “Dob, why do you have a gold bar? Where’d you get it?”

“I think you mean ‘Dob, why do _I_ have a gold bar?’. It’s yours now, my man,” Dob said.

“Do you have any more?” Egbert asked.

The discussion faded into the background as Merilwen leaned close enough to whisper to Prudence. “I don’t understand. We didn’t, uhh, we didn’t…” she trailed off.

“Have sex, you mean? Oh there’s no need for that look, it’s not a dirty word, really,” Prudence said.

“I know it’s not! I’m just...confused? What are you playing at?”

Prudence took a brief glance at the others to make sure they were still occupied, then turned back to Merilwen. “They _said_ it was fine, but did you see the way they were acting?”

“Yeah…”

“They’re _so_ uncomfortable about something that didn’t even happen!” Prudence said. “And I’m absolutely loving it. It’s hilarious!”

Merilwen smiled. “It _is_ kind of funny.”

“Right? So I’m thinking, if _you’re_ cool with it, I figure we keep up this charade for another couple days and see how far we can push them. What do you say?”

Merilwen looked back at the boys as they argued over gold, then back at Prudence, who was waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Merilwen sighed, but the smile never left her face. “Alright, just a few days though.”

“Yessss! You won’t regret it.” Prudence stood and straightened out her robe. “Now, I’m going to leave. You should wait a minute then follow. Make sure they’re paying attention, and make it _really_ obvious you’re coming after me.”

“I’ll do my best.”

As she watched Prudence grab another piece of bacon on the way out, she mumbled under her breath. “What have I gotten myself into?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you notice any errors, please let me know! I'm the only one reading and editing my stuff before posting it, and I'm bound to make mistakes :|


End file.
